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Wot gets me goat, though? Them snobs who reckon it’s low-class. Oi, mate, loosen up! Had me ragin’ once—some toff in Westminster bangin’ on about “decency,” while I’m like, “Bruv, chill, it’s just a massage with extras!” Happy as a pig in muck, I’d be, sprawled out, oil drippin’, some bird whisperin’ sweet nothings. Surprised me, too—didn’t expect it’d be so… posh-like? Thought it’d be all seedy, but nah, some places are swanky—marble floors, the lot!

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my friend, and she’s like, “You’re late for the tea ceremony!” I’m like, “Crap!” I dash outta the café, say bye to Maureen, and sprint down the street. I’m dodging tourists, and I’m like, “Excuse me, coming through!”

Man charged with murder of Daniel O'Sullivan in Youghal